Everywhere I am going I am finding it is all just breadcrumbs. It is like I am finding a trail she has left; an item of clothing here, a note there. She knew she did not have long, and seemed to have prepared for it.
Yesterday I found a note from her, in the tea pot of all places. It was simple; ‘I miss you’. It made me cry- for a long time. I have not cried like that since she went. It was deep, angry, from the pit of my heart, and it was good. A lot of the pain and the hurt came washing out of me. Afterwards, I felt some how cleaner.
Alma came around just after I had finished, and could tell something had happened. She made comment that I seemed somehow ‘lighter’. This is a good way to put it; I do feel lighter. I feel I can stand up a bit taller than I could do before; my spine feel less weighed down by the hurt.
She said that the guys has some good ideas to help me through the next few weeks. I have some good friends. Despite how I feel inside, I know I am lucky.
Yours sincerely
Raymond Williams
Raymond Williams's Diary 