Talking

I am still at Maureen’s house.

We have stayed up all night, just talking. I needed to make sense of it all; I can not understand why they never said, never told me about their history- I would not have minded. It would a made no difference to me at all.

Instead, I feel that my friends, and my partner, have hidden something from me- behind my back. I honestly do not believe that there was any overlap with Ralph and me; and I do not think that it lasted long between them, as Ralph would have said something at the time.

No, it is just the behind my back part- makes me feel both untrusted, and them to be untrustworthy.

Maureen is an excellent listener- Reg was very lucky. She says that I should do what I feel is right, but also, I should not loose a friend and a partner over this. I agree, it’s just  hill I need to get over- once I can understand it.

I am going to go home now. Maureen had to go out, so I am using her computer; I will let myself out after this.

I so need to sleep! It always seems so romantic- staying up all night, taking; truth is, it hurts the next day!

I know that Winnie- if she is still home- will want to talk. I just need to sleep; I have not had a shave for 2 days, and I look as rough as I feel.

I really need some guidance on this, as I do not know where to go with it all.

Yours sincerely

Raymond Williams